... are fucking scary. I've been losing so much sleep that I can't tell if my imagination is getting the best of me, or if my house is actually crumbling slowly and making machine noises.
How does one lose sleep? when you sleep, you don't do anything (save it, science students). How is it possible to be incapable of NOT DOING ANYTHING?! I've eaten plenty of food, I was shredding the tits outta my drums earlier, I feel tired... yet I can't sleep.
You know what else brings my piss to a boil? waking up with a pulled muscle, like my back or neck. Better yet, a migraine. What the shit am I doing in my sleep? Apparently, metal head-banging combined with Aerobics and heavy drinking. How does this happen from doing nothing? Christ. This is why I take so many drugs before I fall asleep - as a preemptive measure. Neocitrain, Tylenol back-pain, Gravol, Benadryl... my faves.
I wish there was a way to record all of my ideas when I'm writing (I know there are, just bear with me). It's so weird coming up with an awesome, catchy lick, then losing it almost instantaneously. How do you lose that "spark"? It's weird too when you come back to a piece you remember, but no longer want to play, because that emotion or feeling is gone.
I've been single for a year now. Today. I should be okay with being alone, but I'm not. Am I pathetic? I'm not needy, I'm not insane. I am jealous, and I'm stubborn, and I have a short temper. And I do need to be alone sometimes. not for a year, though. I just want to love someone. I have a lot of that to give, I think. I like going on walks in the rain, going on classy dates, and just hanging out. I want someone to believe in. Someone who believes in me.
I'm not surprised that I don't have any followers.
Somehow, these guys manage to make me fall asleep. I remember watching (trying to, anyway) Bob Ross when I was a tyke, then falling asleep. Something about his voice and the silence and the painting... Maybe I'll give it a shot.
I wish he was my dad. The only thing my dad is good at (for the sake of entertainment, folks) is Sudoku's. Unbelievable. I watched him once and timed him. 5 minutes. I kid you not. He can solve rubix cubes like it's nobody's business.
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