Pong

So I had genuine feelings for this girl for a few months now. I asked her out on what I thought was a date and she said yes, then today I asked her what she wanted to do, then revealed she wasn't interested in me. SWEET! Just like old times. Since FUCKFACE dumped me, this is the answer I've been receiving. If not, then no answer at all.

What is it about me? I don't care about sex. I just want someone who loves me just as much as I can love them. Someone who knows me, knows what I'm feeling, wonders where I am, thinks about me when they sleep, can finish my sentences, etc etc, you know? I don't want a girlfriend for the sake of having a girlfriend.

I guess some people are meant to be alone for long periods of time.

To you (you know who you are),
I hate you because you're happy and I'm not. I tried my best to make the both of us happy, but apparently what you need is a highschool dropout / cocaine addict / chronic who is going absolutely nowhere with his life. I hate you both with such grand fervour, and I wish you both the worst in life.

I'm tired of putting myself on the line, then getting shot down. I know not every girl is looking for a relationship, but after three or four, it gets a little discouraging. I hate this town, I hate where I am in my life right now, I hate this oversized bed, I hate this school, I hate my classes, and I hate myself. I've been depressed for 8 years now, and I have nothing to look forward to. I don't have a therapist because the mental health branch in Canada is so fucking flawed, that no such doctor exists to deal with my problems.

I want to ge tthe fuck out of this town, move somewhere new (out of this continent) and start over. I feel like i can't attach to anyone or anything in this life, so I should just leave. People get over things like that, right? Why not?

Fuck my life. For real.